im sorry but it has to be said
Ok. Goddamn it. This is just a general announcement because I'm fucking sick of this shit. When you are driving on a fucking 4 lane road, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE FUCKING LEFT LANE UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE AT LEAST 10-15 MILES OVER THE SPEED LIMIT.
I REPEAT: STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE LEFT LANE UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE VERY VERY FAST.
I am sick and fucking tired of having to follow a slow bastard in the left lane while some other slow driving is also clogging up the right lane. Its not the fuckers fault in the right lane for holding up traffic. Its you Mr. or Mrs. I DONT KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO DRIVE PROPERLY.
Its not that I have places to be or people to see, because frankly, I rarely do. But goddamn it. Let me get to my nowhere without having to ride on your slow fat ass for a couple of miles. FUCK FUCK FUCK. STAY OUT OF THE FUCKING LEFT LANE.
Some people are like... maybe their having car trouble(i'm like... i dont give a shit)... Guess what. Thats what the shoulder is for. Car trouble. Unless your having the "MY CAR WONT GO ANY SLOWER THAN 75 or 80 MPH" kind of car trouble, get the fuck out of there. fuck.
The left lane is there for people who like to get places without a hastle. They dont like to be bothered with jackasses fiddling with their dicks in the inappropriate lane. It only makes me ride your ass to piss you off, which in turn pisses you off and increases my chances or rear-ending you, causing the accident to be my fault, therefore further causing me to take the small tack-hammer i keep in my glove compartment and using it to bludgeon you in the fucking forehead until you see the error of your shitty driving ways. FUCK MY HEAD HURTS. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKK
Also. When you are about to get onto the loop, or any other road that requires an on-ramp, you have to pick up some momentum folks. You can't expect to drive slowly and actually get into traffic without a)causing a wreck or b)(most importantly) pissing me off. I cannot follow you going 35 and try to get on the loop which has a 65 speed limit. I almost get my ass runover following you, shit for brains. Its not acceptable. Next time this happens, I'm going to politely ram your car until it explodes. Fuck. DRIVING ISNT THAT HARD PEOPLE. ITS NOT. REALLY.
Now I'm at my final point. On the loop. There is a place (quite of a few actually, but this one in particular). This section of the loop contains an "on-ramp" and an "exit" which are the same little strip of road. And when I say little, I mean right around 5 yards. People trying to get left onto the loop are met by people trying to get right off the loop. Its sheer madness and fucking downright whacky. Every time I try to get off of that exit, I almost die. Honestly, what fucking genius at the DOT thought this was a good idea?
My third grade cousin who has a SEVERE bout of down syndrome comes up with ideas like this.
Here is a pretty picture Jay, my cousin, in 3rd grade, with down down down syndrome, would draw explaing his idea for that section of the loop.
Click on the pic to get the full experience
I love how Jay (my 3rd grade cousin. the one with ds) captures the idiocy of that exit/on-ramp.
I also love the rims that purple suv is sporting. Excellent Jay. you're retarded.
STAY OUT OF MY FUCKING LEFT LANE YOU SLOW MOTHER FUCKERS.
FUCK.
posted by crimson @ 11:22 PM 
1 Comments:
HAHAHAHA! So do people driving really slowly in the left lane make you mad? I can't decide what you think about it. HA. Remind me to get in front of you one day and start going really slow. Your level of anger about this is hilarious. I love it. I really do. Tangents rock.
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