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Friday, February 03, 2006

do i look like a slut?



earlier i was laying in the dark listening to the electronica music choice channel. then i heard it. i want you to hear because its amazing.

EmoKid found their page. It has 4 songs available to listen to. You will know which one to listen to when you see it. It will rock your face.


Manchester United have Fulham tomorrow. Watch. Yell. Get Drunk. I will be.

and one last thing:



Introducing Jager, my new Featherweight Champion of the world.






posted by crimson @ 11:56 PM

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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

my 4 step plan to saving the greatest team in all the land



Step 1: Show Sir Alex the door. Immediately.

I respect what Sir Alex has done at Man Utd. I really do. But all good things come to and end, and well, its fucking over. I am so fucking sick of turning a game on and never having any fucking clue what kind of lineup he'll have out there starting. It blows my fucking mind. I have actual proof that Sir Alex has fucking lost it. I found his dream lineup in his underwear drawer.


astonishing.

Step 2: Terminate Darren Fletcher, John O'Shea, Mikael Silvestre, and Kieran Richardson. And I'm not talking about their contracts.





self explanatory.

Step 3: Find a Russian oil tycoon who will:

a)not get you into debt by buying you on an assload of borrowed money (thanks Malcom)
b)throw endless money at the club for incoming transfers to fill holes in lineup from players who went missing (the fab four above)
c)possibly even find an anti-dumbass pill for Rio Ferdinand

I know its a big task, but Russians are fucking crazy. They can do anything.



told you.

Step 4: Stop letting Jerry's Kids fill in for actual players during actual games.

Don't get me wrong. I am all for charities. And a massive club like Manchester United probably can give and raise more than it's fair share. But come on guys, I think you might need to re-think the way you are doing it. Letting little R-E-tarded kids play as superstars in the EPL, FA CUP, etc. isn't the way to gain respect or help out charities. If I see one more game where a Jerry's Kid is dressed up and actually playing in Rio Ferdinand's, or Wes Brown's, or maybe even Edwin Van der Sar's jersey, my shit is going to hit the fucking fan. Literraly. I will drive over to Old Trafford, and personally start sticking my foot up everyone's ass I come across. Jerry's Kids, players, coaches, owners, weird little british kids with bad teeth. I do not care. This shit has got to stop. Why can't you just have like a carwash or something like the rest of us? Dress Ruud up in a fucking bikini or something, make him wash some fucking cars for charity, and quit letting retards play as our players. FUCK.


NOT AN ACTUAL RETARD


no kid. you dont.

note: the picture above is not of a jerry's kid. its just a wonderful little boy with a heart of gold.


posted by crimson @ 10:47 PM

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