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Monday, October 11, 2004



you were right. youre always right. i wish i could turn back the clock and listen to what you had to say back then. i couldnt, wouldnt. nothing stopped me except myself. now im wrinkly. and white. sometimes a tad bit purple around the edges. i know you arent laughing inside, because im not laughing outside. you wanna talk about instincts? mine tell me to slide.
do i?
no.
they also tell me we're spinning downward and that salvation is only a word in the dictionary. i think i wrote that in a journal somewhere along time ago. but you wouldnt know that.
ive seen you in a light that i thought was only for my eyes. but the more i think about it, im not really sure what i saw. or who else has seen it. i suddenly dont feel so alone.
you read your script, suddenly i realize its time for me to say my line, but i never even opened my copy. so i just stare at you while you read me. i blink a few times to throw you off, and then wonder why. gulping down any hope i didnt have. you scold me, but its ok this time. we both laugh about it, but know next time, i wont have opened anything. the movie has started, we're 20 mins in, and im still trying to figure out where the hell i need to sit.



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